Crystal (cristiline) wrote in sporkhpmovie,

Chapter 14: Substitute Teacher

Final Chapter written by Brad (for now). Now I'm just waiting for chapter fifteen to be finished. Warning: This chapter contains content that may not be appropriate for younger viewers!

Chapter 14: Substitute Teacher

*gate closes ominously*

Dumbledore: All right! Now I can rape all my b****es with my sexy pimp powers!

Filch: All right! Now I can rape Mrs. Norris!

Mrs. Norris: *runs*

Dementors: *Insert Darth Vader breathing here*

Filch: Damn. Black isn’t anywhere.

Dumbledore: Like I expected.

Snape: May I talk to you for a second?

Dumbledore: What the hell, sure.

Filch: I’m tired of raping cats. Now I’m going to rape sleeping girls.

Dwarf: Am I supposed to be Prof. Flitwick?

Snape: Do you have any theories on how Black got in the castle?

Dumbledore: No. I’m on crack.

Snape: Remember our discussion at the beginning of the year, Dumbledore?

Dumbledore: Yes, yes, I’ll pay you for your bit**es by the end of the year, Severus.

Snape: Thank you, but I meant our other conversation.

Dumbledore: Ah. Yeah, well, shut up about it already.

Snape: I have to feign concern for the boy, so I’ll ask whether we should tell the boy about Sirius killing his parents.

Dumbledore: You feign concern well, Severus. But no. Dreams are important…

Inner Snape: YES! The ecstasy I mixed in with his crack worked!
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